With Phil's suggestions I have changed my previs, I feel as though it is a lot stronger now and more cinematic like what I had hoped for. I need to get the timings done as soon as possible as a composer is waiting upon the final previs so she can compose to it and to give myself enough time to animate. It's getting there though!
Hey Ant - okay - in terms of the transition between the exterior leaf shot and the interior leaf on the window shot - it's now too jarring. Consider this: you cut from the exterior shot of the leaf to an 'over the shoulder' interior shot of the window as the leaf nears the window; i.e. you show us that there is a person looking out of the window as the leaf nears; then you cut to the exterior shot of the leaf hitting the window and Skye jumping back. In other words, you need to insert a middle shot that establishes a) that we're inside looking out and b) that 'someone' is looking out as the leaf approaches the window. When you then cut to Skye jumping back, the fact that there is a person inside this room won't seem so 'unannounced'. I know you're keen to start working with your composer, but getting this flow of shots right now will mean that all work you do later will be the 'right' work :)
ReplyDeleteI think you need to actually put the image of the sick mum, the badge and the family in that photo frame as part of your pre-viz, because only then will we be able to understand if the shot is long enough for your audience to take in all the information necessary - can you do that?
@ around 40 secs - right now, this shots feels unbalanced, as everything is shunted to far right of the shot; if the camera was to gently track around to the left during this scene - not by much - I think compositionally this shot would be stronger?
I reckon you could still come further away from the 'eye close-up' in terms of camera position; the edges of the eye are still to close to the edge of the frame for comfort.
The camera really needs to follow that leaf up into the blue perfect sky - the current end shot feels very 'crushed' against the house - go up into the blue!