Friday, 11 March 2016

Skye: Previs 02 & Scene updates

After talking with Phil and Alan I have updated the scenes to a version which I feel is ready for animation and updated the trees more to fit with the environment. I am still undecided whether to keep the tracking shot of the leaf at the beginning and rather have it land at the window seal and start the animation that way or not but for now it will stay the same and probably be decided on how much time I have left to finesse the outside scene. 

So far the music is still not available unfortunately but I am trying to get that sorted as soon as possible. The sound effects also need some work with sounds of the mother coming into play when she is looking at her picture and the drawings in her hands. Although I do have the drawings back from the school! So I need to scan those in and decorate her room with the drawings from the children, next to start animating and lighting and a few tweaks on the shots specifically in the dark room I am still undecided on this sequence of shots.

1 comment:

  1. Evening Ant - so, my thoughts are as follows:
    1) In terms of shot length and editing: as soon as the leaf leaves the frame (right), cut to the next shot of the leaf just as it enters the frame (left) - at the moment, you leave us first looking at an empty shot (after the leaf has left) and then leave us looking at another empty shot as we wait for the leaf to make its entrance. If you lose these laggy shots, you'll see the motion of the leaf will feel immediately more continuous and the edit itself will disappear.

    2) The time it takes between the exterior leaf shot and the moment the same leaf hits the window is too long. I think you could happily accelerate this by simply cutting to the inside shot and the leaf hitting the window only a second or so later. What that opening shot does is create a continuous motion that should be picked up and completed by the interior shot. Right now, the hiatus between the two shots is too drawn out and makes it a little clunky (and yes, you do need the exterior shot, and no corners cut, please!) ;) Again, take out the lagginess to ensure shots flow from one to the other.

    3) Look at the framing at around 34 secs - why is her face crammed up against the camera like that?

    4) You don't show us the drawing she's looking at - there's no POV of the drawing at all: how are we going to know her train of thought, and her motivation for looking at the photograph etc. if we don't know that's a drawing of her mother. Also - you're rushing this moment - we need time to understand what she's thinking:

    a) Leaf scares her from window
    b) She sits down.
    c) We watch her as she sees something on the floor - her expression lightens
    d) POV of the drawing on the floor.
    e) Skye picks up the drawing.
    f) We watch Skye looking fondly down at the drawing
    g) POV of the drawing - and let us actually look at it.
    h) Back to watching Skye's face - her expression gets sad.
    i) she looks at the photograph
    j) Then let us look at it - POV - we have to be given time to put two and two together. (*at around 39 sec - why do we see her turning her head to look at the photograph again when we just saw her look at, and the shot of the photograph is from the POV you've established?)
    k) We watch Skye get cross - we see her scrumple the drawing

    5) look at the framing at around 1min 9 secs - we're basically looking through it at the wall? Revisit and make less gappy?

    6) Again - look at the framing around 1.30 sec - why does she head-butt the camera? You've got to get more sensitive to what your shots look like in the frame and how your character is filling it.

    7) @ 2:09 secs - the great big eye is too close - you're cropping it with the edge of the frame - open this shot out a little more.

    Okay - I'll do a part 2, that's enough for now - but the drawing/photo/back-story sequence needs more care and attention - and duration! No one is going to understand your story or the significance of the badge or the reason for her anxiety until you make this moment as important as it should be.